


The Hardcore Habits of Tomato Eaters and Goat Milkers

by CosmoKid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Colour blind Monty, M/M, Maya's a goat, Squint or you'll miss it with both of the relationship, i dont know, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 09:57:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8200891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: Monty Green was rather accustomed to odd things happening his life, he seemed to attract the weird, wonderful and worrying. Although, he’d never had someone comment on his tomato-eating habits before, then again, he’d never met Jasper Jordan before.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is. I really don't, I was just inspired.

Monty Green was rather accustomed to odd things happening his life, he seemed to attract the weird, wonderful and worrying. Although, he’d never had someone comment on his tomato-eating habits before, then again, he’d never met Jasper Jordan before.

Monty had just been minding his own business, sitting on the end of a lunch table waiting for Miller and Bryan to get back from their scheduled make out session. He’d been in such a rush in the morning that he’d forgotten to prepare his lunch and just pocketed a tomato instead on his way out… Well, he’d thought it was an apple, but it soon became apparent, once he’d gotten it out, that it certainly wasn’t an apple. He’d been too hungry to care and just took a bite out of it.

And that was when the kid sitting nearby had whispered “hardcore”, his eyes locked onto Monty’s chewing mouth. Of course, Monty’s chewing had slowed down due to the kid’s odd behaviour, but also to the odd taste in this mouth.

“Do you not eat tomatoes in your house?” Monty had politely asked in confusion, his nose scrunching up as thoughts raced through his mind. The kid looked normal enough, brown hair, big brown eyes and semi-tanned skin. He was pretty scrawny but other than that, he looked normal enough.

“Of course we do, but they’re normally ripe.” The kid, Monty decided to nickname him Bambi because of his doe eyes, was way too loud and had too much energy. Bambi looked like the kind of kid to whisper “#swag” under his breath in the middle of class honestly.

“Ripe? It is ripe?” Monty questioned, his eyes widening in shock. It couldn’t have happened again, could it? Monty had specifically told his Mom not to put the unripe tomatoes in the same place she put the ripe tomatoes. Then again, Monty had picked it up from the ripe tomato pile thinking it was an apple so he could see where his Mom might have been coming from.

“Does that look red to you? Are you blind kid?” Bambi had sounded exasperated when he asked it, matching how Monty felt inside. It was hardly fair, Bambi had no idea of knowing, but still, he couldn’t help but be offended. 

“I’m colour blind,” Monty had mumbled softly, putting his tomato down on the table with a little bit too much force, angry at Bambi partly, but also angry at himself for the irrational anger. Bambi could hardly have guessed that.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, fuck wo-” Bambi had cursed his way through an apology before cutting himself off for what looked like a moment of thought, “Hi colour blind, I’m Jasper.”

“Did you just… Did you just make a dad joke?” Monty asked incredulously, his eyebrows shooting up in exasperation. Why did he have a tendency to attract all the crazy people? Knowing his luck, Jasper would probably also own a cow named Bullseye or something that he’d want Monty to milk.

“Yes, Mr Colourblind McColourblind, yes I did,” Monty couldn’t handle this, not another weird kid talking about his cows or theory of how the world was flat, “Don’t look at me all exasperated, you were the one eating a green tomato a minute ago.” This kid was weird, very weird.

“Hey, I didn’t realise it was green!” Monty exclaimed, it was hardly the same assessment, “Plus, I thought it was an apple…” Monty trailed off realising that this really wasn’t helping his case. He was probably sounding even more insane, trying to explain how he was eating a green apple he thought was an apple. Damn it, Monty hated being colour blind.

“You thought it was an apple? How is that better? You mixed up an apple and a tomato!” Jasper seemed to be enjoying this conversation very much so, he was practically grinning from ear to ear. Monty knew he had a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth and flushed cheeks from either anger or embarrassment.

“I don’t know, look I was in a rush this morning and didn’t have time to make lunch, okay?” Monty sighed, shrugging his shoulders as an explanation. He couldn’t really defend or explain it whatsoever since it had been an odd sequence of events. He could just blame his colourblindness, which was his plan anyway.

“Oddly enough, I was in a rush too and forgot to milk my goat.” Of course, of fucking course. Why wouldn’t Jasper have a goat to milk?  
“You have a goat?” 

“Yeah, don’t you?” Monty had taken to shaking his head in complete doubt of this conversation even happening and actually being real, “Her name's Maya, which reminds me, what is your name Mr Colourblind?” 

“Monty,” Monty took a deep breath, very confused and lost, “Monty Green.” This conversation wasn’t real, was it? So far he’d argued about apples and found out that his new friend (could he call Jasper that?) had a goat named Maya.

“Well, Monty Green, how would you feel about cementing this friendship by milking Maya?”

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://island-of-asteria.tumblr.com/)


End file.
